[chaos pk]

alright im a stand up comedian lol i got some funny wons heres my set list ill send you its alright i do comedy clubs and gigs at bars and stuff comment and tell me what you think

Golddiggers
I realized recently that what I need to find is a woman who love me for my money but doesn’t understand math.

Rap Now A Days
I've been listening to this rapper, Busta Rhymes. Sometimes he'll say a really good rhyme, and he'll say his name afterwards. He'll be like, 'Cat in the hat, and that was that -- Busta Rhymes.' I really like that. I'd like to do that with jokes. Like, 'I like drinking coffee, but if I ever reach a point in my life where the best part of waking up is Folgers in my cup, I'm not sure I wanna wake up -- Mike Birbiglia.

Fears The Most
I was living with a girl for a while. We worried about different things. One day, I was like, 'What do you fear the most?' And she was like, 'I fear you'll meet someone else, and you'll leave me, and I'll be all alone.' And she was like, 'What do you fear the most?' And I was like, 'Bears.'

To Many Cameras
I feel like there's too many cameras right now. Like, you go to buy something, and everything's also a camera. They'll be like, 'It's also a camera.' And I'm like, 'I just wanted a grapefruit.'

My Brothers Footsteps
I was very fortunate to have an older brother growing up, my brother Joe. I always followed in his footsteps. He wore overalls; I wore overalls. He lit off fireworks in the attic; I was hit by the fireworks, rushed to the emergency room.

What I Should Of Said Was Nothing
A few years ago, I was moving a new bed into my apartment, and this woman who lived in the building opened the front door for me with her key. She said, 'I'm not worried because a rapist wouldn't have a bed like that.' That's how she started the conversation. Now, what I should have said was nothing. What I did say was 'You'd be surprised.'

Tell Me What One Is The Best

[Gir]

2 much reading

[Brendan]

Lol i lol'd at the camera one.

[US Marine]

Golddiggers
I realized recently that what I need to find is a woman who love me for my money but doesn’t understand math.


HAHAA i like this one. You should change math to economics though

[Kevin]

It's not stand up comedy if you're not actually saying it. Goodluck however.

[John]

not that funny... =\ but ok

[rulerxx]

Lol i loved the camera one!!!!!!!!!!!!

[suaye]

Your quite good mate

[Cydroxx]

dont feel like reading .