Some new stuff.

caliban · **Some new stuff. -** 12-04-2009, 02:23 PM

I have decided to produce and sell a strong alcoholic drink called "Responsibly"

That way everyone in the country can get shit faced drinking responsibly.

And all the other drinks makers will be advertising for me on their cans with the slogan "please drink responsibly"

Probably will piss off the government as well.
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I can't see the big deal with calling a Pakistani a Paki.
It's just the same as calling an Australian an Aussie, a Scotsman a Scot or a Frenchman a Cunt.
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Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.
Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, "Miss, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.”
And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mum isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.
I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.
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I'm going to go rob a bank tomorrow.
I plan on dressing up in a clown wig and make up and only wearing a thong and nipple tassels.
I'll carry a goat and a can of fluorescent paint in one arm and, while in the bank, I'm going to fuck the goat and throw the paint over the walls, all the time ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off. After getting the money, I'll take a shit on the floor and piss everywhere. I then will escape in a van shaped like a giant pink cock.

Let's see Crimewatch fucking stage a reconstruction of that.
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That's all for now people, more to come when i reach... 450 posts

peace & enjoy, rate dont hate.

**hi fi wi fi** · 12-04-2009, 02:28 PM

LOL!!! i luv the one with the kid who bites where do you get all of these jokes frum lol?

caliban · 12-04-2009, 02:32 PM

I live at a boarding school hence; boredom hence; a lot of sick jokes.

~~rulerxx~~ · 12-04-2009, 03:07 PM

lol nice.. luv it

caliban · 12-04-2009, 04:26 PM

so i've decided to spam a bit seeing as this thread isnt being view (people dont actually go into the sections for threads, they just look at the recent/ recently posted threads. i decided this thread might need some more views so this is my spam.